Identity Crisis

Starting this blog reminds me of lyrics from a song that I loved as a child from church camp... "Who am I? What will I be when I get where I'm going?"...(and that's all I remember of the song- it must've made an impact for some reason)

Now that I have established that I want to blog I am having a difficult time trying to decide what direction to send this blog. I want to blog for several reason: to document my kids' childhood, to vent about life, and to create some "me time".
My other concern is that I am basically computer illiterate- especially when it comes to designing a blog and making it fun looking- so my blog will likely look boring, boring, boring, zzzzzz until I read up on some blogging tutorials.

I could focus the blog on my kids- but, frankly, our day-to-day routine gets boring even to me.
I could focus the blog on weight loss- I am on Weight Watchers for the 1,252 time right now. And that makes me a professional. Kidding, obviously.
I could focus the blog on being a single mom- because being a single mom brings a whole different perspective to parenting a lot of the time.
I could focus the blog of my journey in faith- because I find myself becoming more in awe of faithfulness every day.

I am assuming that this blog will fall into a rhythm of it's own after I become accustomed to putting my thoughts on paper so I guess I will let it take off and watch where it goes.

Worst.blogger.ever.

I admit it. I am the worst blogger ever as evidenced by my last post which was approximately 358 days ago. I am disappointed that I did not document my last year. I was horrible at keeping up with my kids' baby books and I suppose that trait is carrying over to the blog world.

The year of 2012 did not hold any major life changes for my family. I am still a single mother of two doing the best I can while searching for the grateful in my world. My kids are still happy, energetic busy little monkeys. I am including a few pictures since the last time I posted to help me remember some of the highlights of our year.

Funny boy and presidents

I know I have mentioned Miles' obsession/fascination with presidents before. A few nights ago, Miles awakened me around 3:00AM crying because he had a nightmare. I told him to crawl in my bed and tell me about it. So...here is this five year old sobbing boy telling me "Martin Van Buren-he was the 8th president-fell out of his wheelchair and George Washington helped him up". And that is all of his nightmare. I replied, "that doesn't seem like such a scary dream" and he continued to sob "it was so scary when he was falling". So..I decided to approach the nightmare with how nice it was for George Washington to help him up.
Needless to say, I was awake the rest of the night due to my recurring insomnia issues.
The next day I find Miles reenacting the nightmarish scene with his new favorite toys:



Yep, these are George Washington and Martin Van Buren figurines. Cool-huh? We have the set of Presidents from Washington to Eisenhower. Mamie Eisenhower was the only female to make the cut. If I were Martha Washington or Mary Todd Lincoln, I'd be a bit mad.

Isn't this set of presidents every 5 year old's dream toy? I'm thinking I'll be voting for my son on the democratic ballot for president in about 35 years.

Funny Girl

A few week ago at church I was talking with a group of friends and one of them mentioned her nephew goes to the same school as my children. It turns out that the nephew, Owen, is in Marleigh's third grade class at school. Apparently this week one of my church friends ran into Owen and his dad.

My church friend asked Owen if he knew Marleigh and he said "yeah". Owen's dad said "Yes, she's the little blonde girl who had her head on your shoulder during the movie?" Owen replied "yeah". Owen's dad said "the one from Australia?". Owen replied "yeah". My friend said with a laugh "no. no. Marleigh's family is from south Arkansas." Owen's dad said "no this Marleigh is from Australia".

At this point in the re-telling of the story, I summoned Marleigh to our dinner table and asked her "Have you been speaking in an accent at school?" And she replied "why yes, yes I have (in her best Australian accent)".

Funny, funny girl with a convincing accent...maybe I should steer her toward acting?

Weekend and boundaries

My weekend started off on Friday with dropping the kids off at the country club for two hours for a pizza party. I had two whole kid-free hours. And I had too many choices of how I wanted to spend my free time. I ended up going for a run. Just kidding. I've always wanted to be able to say that. Actually I went for about a 2 mile walk. Stella the pup was my walking companion:

After my neighborhood walk, I decided to take a shower. It was oh so relaxing to be able to take a shower without having to scream "i'll be out in just a minute" every few minutes when my kids knock on the bathroom door. After the shower, I decided to tackle some of my usual Saturday morning chores. Numero uno= the laundry. How could 3 people have this much laundry in 5 days? That's just not right.

I ended my 2 hour luxurious vacation with reading the newspaper. I am a wild and crazy gal.

On Saturday, my mom and I took the kids to the Razorback basketball game. It was the most exciting game I have ever been to. The kids had a great time- they love getting all "hogged up" for the games:

Marleigh was on the big screen during a time out. She was so exctied about it that you would have thought she had won an Oscar. It was a fun time!

On Sunday, we went to church as usual. I have been taking a "Boundaries" class at church on Sunday mornings. It has been interesting to delve into setting boundaries for myself. It is ok to say no. Wish I had realized that last year when I was homeroom mom, brownie troop leader, and wow wednesday k-2 kid leader. And did I mention I work full time and am a single mom? Yes, it would have been nice to have been able to say no without the accompanying feelings of guilt. Maybe next time.

After church, I decided to move some furniture around in my house. Miles now has a "big boy" dresser in his room. He is excited that he has his own mirror so if he wakes up in the middle of the night he can see if he has a bug on his face. Whatever. Like he sleeps in his own room. Maybe I should set some boundaries.

It was a busy, busy weekend considering the Hog game was the only planned activity. Weekends sure do zoom by!

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to say no and establish boundaries when needed.

Migraines and Bill Clinton

I have been suffering from a 2 day migraine. Ugh. I stayed in bed all day yesterday. I usually don't slow down enough to watch much tv but yesterday I watched a lot. I prefer to read or play on my phone but my left eye was hurting too badly so I stared at the tube instead. I watched "The Social Network", "Four Christmases", "Dr. Oz", and four hours of "Texas Multi-Moms". I was totally sucked in to the multi moms show. Has it hooked you in, as well?  Anyway, I took pain pills and kept a hot pad on my head and kept my left eye closed for most of the day. Does anyone have any suggestions for a migraine sufferer? My migraines are triggered by changes in barometric pressure and this crazy un-winter weather we have had has wreaked havoc on my brain.

On a lighter note, I was cleaning out some cabinets this past weekend and came across the picture:

Yes, that is a very young and boyish Bill Clinton standing next to a very young and boyish me. I think I was going for the Dorothy Hamill hair style. And I am styling with my white izod and white calvin kleins. Circa 1980, I believe. I know you are jealous.

Today I am grateful for the capability to laugh at myself.

Laura Ingalls Wilder

I have often said that I am thankful that I was not born into Laura Ingalls Wilder era. I am in no ways a diva- but I do love my air conditioning in the summer and my heat in the winter. Last night I went to bed all toasty and warm. This morning when I awakened I did not want to get out from under the covers because the air was so frigid. I finally managed to pull myself out of bed and went to turn the heat up. Meanwhile, it is 19 degrees outside with a wind chill of 11. I turned the heat up...and up...and up...and nothing at all happened! There was no air blowing out of the vents. At this point is when a single mom can begin the meltdown. I had to get two kids out of bed and ready for school and had to be at work 30 minutes earlier than usual for a meeting. In the arctic. It was impossibly cold getting ready for the day but we managed. These are the days that I seem to need to "search for the grateful" a bit harder than other days. Today I was grateful for my car seat heaters. And I am grateful that my dad is in the process of fixing the heater. And I am grateful that I do not live in the Laura Ingalls Wilder era. To honor Laura, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes of hers: "It is the simple things of life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and living close to nature"....I think she may have added car seat heaters to that quote if they had been around back then!